dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
