We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
