i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He kissed a someone with a penis
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize