His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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