She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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