Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
