So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize