In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
