just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
