She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
