Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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