That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
