So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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