I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
