Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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