Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
