I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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