Sponge bath it is.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
