his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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