we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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