DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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