I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize