I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
