this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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