GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
