I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize