New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
