worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
