It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
