can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
