i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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