i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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