and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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