Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
