I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize