In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
