trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize