just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Operation Purity has been aborted
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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