woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
