you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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