that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
