I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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