And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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