oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
