im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
