I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There r osticjed everywhere
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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