this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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