if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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