Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
