so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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