I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
