How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
