Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
