Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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