it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
