I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
