WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
